Footsteps in the Deep
So I'm away for the summer, in Ottawa, as part of an internship for my schooling.
I arrived on Saturday, the 12th. Slept over at the pastor's house that night, and then moved into the church building the following Sunday night, after two services. I'll be staying at the church for the next few months - till the end of August, to be precise. Nothing too crazy happened yet, just settling in and battling the immediate newness of it all, and it's been difficult at times.
I've been struggling a bit being in the silence and solitude of the (space I'm in). It's a good challenge, but still a challenge. I can honestly say that it's been
different. I had a conversation about how it felt with the pastor's wife last night as we were driving back from a Bible study (Janice, she's great) and it went something like this:
"How are you doing?"
"Alright. It's a bit different (read: difficult) actually, being alone."
"It's profound isn't it?"
"Uncomfortably profound," I laughed. She laughed as well. She has a loud laugh, the kind of laugh that makes you want to be a part of the joke. "Uncomfortably profound, in that order."
"I can imagine," she responded. "There's something about being alone - the solitude. It makes you grow up."
"Hm, yeah, that's a good way of putting it."
"Well, we all need to grow up sometime." (She's very direct like that)
"I think there's something to it, the silence," I said. Really, I was thinking of how to respond to that 'grow up' comment. It was true though. "The silence, the 'alone-ness,' it means that it's just me and God. It's like being in a room with one other person, and that person happens to be God."
"Hmm, that's true."
"It's like you have to figure out - in that moment - and be clear: do you like Him or not? Do you want to talk to Him or not? And I think that that's the profound thing."
We sat in silence for a couple of seconds.
"But," I hurriedly added, "I don't think it's bad."
"Hmm? What's that?" Her words reach you like a bullet, like there's no wandering to them. Very precise, that's her character. A good kind of sharp; sharp like the contours of icing on a cake. You'd want it to be sharp, precise.
"I don't think it's bad, being in the silence," I said. " It's like, I know that God's doing something. I just need to trust Him, even when it's not what I'd want. There's something to that. You remember that thing the video said - uh - that we should be careful what we pray for?
"Yes!" The pastor and his wife both agreed together.
"Well, I think I asked God for this, so I won't be upset - I know he's doing something. I can feel it. And I'm happy with whatever He does, because He's doing it. That's good for me."
That's good for me.
I think that - that - will be good enough for me. He is good enough for me. Always good enough.
Adjustment is the word I've been saying more than any other one this week. I've been having to adjust my perceptive ------- but God is good, even when his footsteps are in the deeps.
An Encouragement
God's footsteps are in the deep, and there's comfort in that.
Have you ever looked for a person's footsteps underwater, in the sand, while you were at the beach? No, you wouldn't.
All you'd see would be a sandy mist, a depression in the grain and silt of the sand-bed, and saltwater in your eyes for the trouble. That's why we don't search for God's footprints when we're in the deep. But we know that he walks in the deeps - he even walks on top of them, and he'll be there with us, even if we can't see him.
I've been feeling like He is here, even though I can't see, and I'm learning that he's not bound to the Shores of Good Times. He walks in the Deep Distresses of life, because he is always faithful.
Maybe we can't see Him, but we know Him. He's here. He's always with us.
Psalm 77:19 - " Your way was in the sea, Your path in the great waters, and your footsteps were not known."
Love you to the family who's reading this. So much love. Miss you all.
I arrived on Saturday, the 12th. Slept over at the pastor's house that night, and then moved into the church building the following Sunday night, after two services. I'll be staying at the church for the next few months - till the end of August, to be precise. Nothing too crazy happened yet, just settling in and battling the immediate newness of it all, and it's been difficult at times.
I've been struggling a bit being in the silence and solitude of the (space I'm in). It's a good challenge, but still a challenge. I can honestly say that it's been
different. I had a conversation about how it felt with the pastor's wife last night as we were driving back from a Bible study (Janice, she's great) and it went something like this:
"How are you doing?"
"Alright. It's a bit different (read: difficult) actually, being alone."
"It's profound isn't it?"
"Uncomfortably profound," I laughed. She laughed as well. She has a loud laugh, the kind of laugh that makes you want to be a part of the joke. "Uncomfortably profound, in that order."
"I can imagine," she responded. "There's something about being alone - the solitude. It makes you grow up."
"Hm, yeah, that's a good way of putting it."
"Well, we all need to grow up sometime." (She's very direct like that)
"I think there's something to it, the silence," I said. Really, I was thinking of how to respond to that 'grow up' comment. It was true though. "The silence, the 'alone-ness,' it means that it's just me and God. It's like being in a room with one other person, and that person happens to be God."
"Hmm, that's true."
"It's like you have to figure out - in that moment - and be clear: do you like Him or not? Do you want to talk to Him or not? And I think that that's the profound thing."
We sat in silence for a couple of seconds.
"But," I hurriedly added, "I don't think it's bad."
"Hmm? What's that?" Her words reach you like a bullet, like there's no wandering to them. Very precise, that's her character. A good kind of sharp; sharp like the contours of icing on a cake. You'd want it to be sharp, precise.
"I don't think it's bad, being in the silence," I said. " It's like, I know that God's doing something. I just need to trust Him, even when it's not what I'd want. There's something to that. You remember that thing the video said - uh - that we should be careful what we pray for?
"Yes!" The pastor and his wife both agreed together.
"Well, I think I asked God for this, so I won't be upset - I know he's doing something. I can feel it. And I'm happy with whatever He does, because He's doing it. That's good for me."
That's good for me.
I think that - that - will be good enough for me. He is good enough for me. Always good enough.
Adjustment is the word I've been saying more than any other one this week. I've been having to adjust my perceptive ------- but God is good, even when his footsteps are in the deeps.
An Encouragement
God's footsteps are in the deep, and there's comfort in that.
Have you ever looked for a person's footsteps underwater, in the sand, while you were at the beach? No, you wouldn't.
All you'd see would be a sandy mist, a depression in the grain and silt of the sand-bed, and saltwater in your eyes for the trouble. That's why we don't search for God's footprints when we're in the deep. But we know that he walks in the deeps - he even walks on top of them, and he'll be there with us, even if we can't see him.
I've been feeling like He is here, even though I can't see, and I'm learning that he's not bound to the Shores of Good Times. He walks in the Deep Distresses of life, because he is always faithful.
Maybe we can't see Him, but we know Him. He's here. He's always with us.
Psalm 77:19 - " Your way was in the sea, Your path in the great waters, and your footsteps were not known."
Love you to the family who's reading this. So much love. Miss you all.
Hey brother! Good to see you writing and taking advantage of the opportunities God gives you. I loved this perspective you had,
ReplyDelete"That's why we don't search for God's footprints when we're in the deep. But we know that he walks in the deeps - he even walks on top of them, and he'll be there with us, even if we can't see him."
Look forward to reading more and seeing the areas that God is stretching you and growing you!
Hey Robert! Thank you for your words of kindness. I always love how specific you are in your encouragements - it teaches me to be similar.
DeleteThanks for walking alongside me, and I'll be better with the texts! Praise Jesus for fellowship of believers.
Miss you too bruv. Praying for you. You're out there experiencing an internal gravity shift, and I'm back at home experiencing similar things. Lol funny how change/stresses/adjustments can occur whether one leaves or stays put. Praise God for the timeless, spaceless [invisible] Church reality...where we can encourage, pray, and worship together beyond locality. We're still here with you brother...and you with us in many ways that I'm actually seeing now that you're gone. The fruit of your labour is evident, and is producing more fruit as the days proceed.
ReplyDeleteContinue to "be steadfast, immoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord..." (1 Cor. 15:58)
Grace & Peace,
Keegs
Hey man. Yeah, it's tough to be away from church family, but God directs our paths. Thank you for sharing; I'll be lifting you up in prayer before the Lord. I'll text you specifically, but bro, it's this period of separation, God is binding us together still.
DeletePraying for you and the brothers. Maybe the Lord keep, and give you clarity as you move closer to the date brother.